Tomorrow is the orientation day for my New Start program at The University of Auckland – a bridging program for high school education I couldn’t have in Indonesia. Pursuing education at university is not an expected choice of me. I recognize it in the reactions of people I have met here. “Oh, really?” is a common reaction I get whenever people hear about my education plan as if I have not thought it through. They pause waiting to hear my reason behind this surprising direction. I begin telling my story – of the education I sought through my broken phone from the corner of my cell in Balikpapan Refugee Prison. Finding it when it was not there. How can I not pursue it now that it’s within my reach?
It wasn’t a sound decision for my parents when they first heard of my plan. They expected me to work and get married as if my decade-long life in Indonesia had grown me out of the age for education and I am not seeing it. I convince them of the difference in life here—how almost everything revolves around education. I remind them of how my self-taught education has saved me from Indonesia. And I heard a forced nod from the other side of the phone.
It is an equally surprising choice for my refugee friends in Indonesia especially those who didn’t see it for themselves. But none attempted to talk me out of it – seeing how it was leading me out of our shared limbo life.
And I face internal resistance too. Not doubting my capability or facing a language barrier, which can have their challenges, but it seems to go against my reunion with my family. Some incomplete information that I have gathered from people and the internet says you have to have a certain amount of earnings in order to sponsor your family. Studying does not bring that any time soon. Too far can be too late.
I cannot for personal desire or “out of selfishness” take myself from my family anymore. My long life in Indonesia had got me used to their absence in my life. I can endure it for a couple more years. But my family does not – especially my mom. Whenever I talk to her on the phone, she longs to smell my presence again.
Here I am moving against all odds taking my initial step at university tomorrow with an optimism that I can have both my education and family together. I am more convinced of that, being surrounded by good people now. Deep down it feels the rightest of right choice.
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I feel sure that you're making the right choice, Hussain! Your hunger for education has brought you to New Zealand and will carry you far ahead.
Best of luck in furthering your studies.